


After All

by imahira



Series: It's not the bullet that kills you but the way it passes through [2]
Category: Rookies - Morita Masanori & Related Fandoms
Genre: (mentioned) - Freeform, (not between the two of them), Canon - Manga, Canon One-Sided Het, M/M, POV Second Person, Past Rape/Non-con, Present Tense, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26892430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imahira/pseuds/imahira
Summary: Some bad habits are rewarding enough to be worth it. Others aren’t, but they’re not any easier to kick.
Relationships: Hiratsuka Taira/Imaoka Shinobu
Series: It's not the bullet that kills you but the way it passes through [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962016
Kudos: 1





	After All

Two weeks later, three weeks after he came back from summer, he kisses you for the first time. You're not expecting it and he doesn't ask, but it's fine. He's lying next to you in your bed, and you're not sure if he means to wrap his arm around you like that, or if he's just imitating how he thinks kissing is supposed to go. It's not like you know exactly how kissing's supposed to go.

You have no idea what your family thinks is going on, or his for that matter, but he's been coming over just about every day after practice. Most of those days he's tried to have sex with you. Sometimes he cries, sometimes he just paces and throws things. One day he even sat down and wrote a whole essay for you. You couldn't turn it in because it was obviously his handwriting, but he did write it.

There've been a few tantrums (none as bad as the first time), but today you got most of the way through the sex, and he's feeling a lot better.

The kiss makes your stomach warm in a way you didn't realize sex could even do. It almost doesn't feel like a sex thing at all. This is why people get married, you realize.

When you blink your eyes back to normal Hiracchi's staring at you, anxious for you to say something.

"Um," you say.

"Well?" He's impatient. Nowhere near as nervous and upset as he's been the last few weeks, though.

"Good." You mumble the first thing you can think of. "It was good." You're not sure if he's a good kisser, but you liked it, at least.

"I mean can you tell!" He's up on one elbow, shifting around with the same nervous energy you feel under his skin every time he touches you. "When I have my first kiss, you think she'll be able to tell?"

You know who he's thinking about. Even before he sighs, his brow furrowed and his eyes lowered. He's going to practice and changing in the locker room again, but he's not looking at her or trying to get her attention. He hasn't mentioned her before now, either.

You don't mind that part of it. Which is terrible, because it shows how bad Hiracchi feels. But you don't mind that he's not talking about her.

"I don't think I noticed anything."

He sighs again, relieved this time. "Yeah, ‘cause they didn't do anything like that. But I just thought maybe..." He's silent for a little while. "You don't think anything ever happened to her?"

"I dunno." You really have no idea. She doesn't act like it.

Hiracchi's quiet again. "If anything did," he says at last, "I'd definitely kill whoever it was who did it."

"I guess everyone in the club would." You're not sure which way he wants to be reassured. That nothing's happened, or that it could be fixed if it did.

You're trying to be more careful about what you say to him. Usually he's up way too high. He's never been down this low before.

"She must be fine," you add, when the scowl doesn't lift from his face. "We'd all be in jail or something if anyone hurt her."

He thinks about that for a few moments. "Yeah," he allows. Then his face brightens. "Yeah, I guess so."

_I'm pretty sure I like you like you like her, so could you not talk about her while we're lying in my bed naked?_

You can't say that. Even if you must've liked him this whole time. Way before he ever liked her.

It's kind of a miracle Hiracchi even feels like doing this with another guy, after what happened to him. You can't tell him that actually you're just like those men who did it. You're thinking about him the same way.

He doesn't have anyone else he can tell about this. If he gets scared of you, he'll go right back to that first week when he was the worst you ever saw him. You can't let him find out you've already thought about him kissing you. Every day after he goes home. Not just then, of course, but mostly. Because when he's gone you can—you have to turn your head away to hide that you're getting red again. Anyway, that's why you try not to when he's around.

Nothing's ever gonna happen between him and her. Even if he finally decided to do anything about it. And nothing's gonna happen with you and him. Not because he really wants to. You wish, just a little bit, that he hadn't done anything that first day but cry, and that he was just coming over after school to yell and throw your stuff around. Not to touch you or kiss you so he can make sure everything still works, and have something to think about when he jerks off that doesn't feel so bad. And then you wouldn't have any idea that you like it.

"You know the great thing about being in love," Hiracchi says. It's probably a good sign that he's ready to be pompous again. "The great thing is it doesn't matter what's going on with you, just as long as she's happy. You'd better remember that, Imaoka."

"That must be pretty great," you tell him, your head still turned away. For once, you think he might be right.


End file.
